I remember this one moment in time as if it occurred only yesterday.
My mom had just picked me up from high school. As she drove what turned out to be the longest ride home ever from school, I noticed that she was suspiciously quiet. I could tell that she was deep in thought, but I had the distinct feeling that she might share those deep thoughts with me. She kept looking at me with those distinctively special "mom eyes." You know - the mother's eyes that are so intensely loving, yet so intensely concerned at the same time.
I sensed that she must have something terribly important to tell me. It quickly became obvious to me that, at any moment, whatever was on her mind would be verbally passed along to me.
She had something to say, something to tell me, but she just wasn't quite sure where to begin.
I thought, "Did somebody die?"
As we were driving down the road, having already turned onto the quaint midwestern street where we lived, my mom (who had taken me some days or weeks earlier to the family doctor for a pregnancy test - because moms really do seem to have a kind of sixth sense, especially about their own offspring) decided to just come out and say what I'm sure had been weighing quite heavily on her mind all day so far.
Ever so gently, compassionately, and quietly, yet matter-of-factly, she put her precious hand in mine and said, "Lori, you're pregnant."
It was at that moment that my hundred watts of mind juices really started flowing and in fact, went into overload.
My heart sank to my stomach.
Then, my stomach made its way up to my throat.
My once rosy cheeks now lacked any color at all.
My insuppressible tears flooded my cheeks, drenched my clothes, and sprinkled onto my high school books.
I glanced over at my mom again. Her "mom eyes" were bigger-than-life filled with the compassion that only a mom can have for her child. In my case, a child having a child - her baby having a baby.
After swallowing the big lump in my throat (it took several attempts), I quietly asked my mom to "just drive around the block."
I wasn't ready to go into the house yet.
I wasn't ready to go on with the rest of the afternoon.
Quite frankly, I wasn't ready for anything.
And, I sure wasn't ready to be a mommy. Not me. Not at sixteen!
- excerpt from Chapter Five of my book - PREGNANT at 16 - by Lori Ghiata Bowser (available at online bookstores).
- and, from Chapter Eleven ...
My teen pregnancy and the birth of Danny made me grow up fast.
Yes, my own personal teen-aging process passed by much more quickly than I had originally anticipated early on in my travels down Adolescent Road.
In fact, I actually passed by rather a great deal of the whole teenage process, rather than muddling through its entirety.
Nevertheless, my teenage pregnancy and Danny's subsequent presence in my life pushed me full force into the world of adulthood and consequently, made me a little more mature. Although some of my close friends might deny the 'maturity' part due to my present-day occasionally mischievous 'schemes.'
Undoubtedly, these friends are probably thinking, "A little more mature? Put the emphasis on 'little'."
And if, indeed, that is what they're thinking, its okay, simply because my closest friends know me that well, and know that I'm admittedly a fan of the saying, "Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional."
But in the grand 'scheme' of things, and in the course of my everyday life since I was an unwed, pregnant, sixteen-year-old girl in 1974, I can finally say that I am contentedly satisfied with whom I have become.
More importantly, I am thankful for God's mercy and grace for transforming my seemingly hopeless, teenage situation into - as my high school teacher once said - a 'blessing beyond my dreams.'
My own teenage reckless behaviors resulted in a pregnancy. But, not once - NOT ONCE! - have I regretted my decision to choose life for Danny.
And, Danny has certainly exceeded my expectations by providing me with 'blessings beyond my dreams.'
