Contrary to my personal thoughts of self, its been brought to my attention by those closest to me that control might as well be my middle name. That's right.
Self-realization can be tough to swallow. *choke*cough*
Because someone else was doing it. That's why!
It wasn't easy to sit back with my feet propped up ... not knowing what we were going to eat, not knowing for absolute certain that all the gifts were wrapped and properly placed under the tree, and not knowing what was going on in my kitchen while I sat in the next room pretending to be totally 'chill'.
Relax? Out of the question.
I'm not exactly certain of the number of times I sent text messages to my daughters offering my advice, or asking if I could help in any way, or even how many times I popped up out of my recliner to simply check on things in my kitchen. But, I think Shelby was counting. Perhaps my kitchen appearances were one too many? Outta control even?
I'll do better next time. Because in the end, our Christmas celebration was perfect in every way. Even without my contributions.
It's sometimes heartwarming to think, 'they can't get along without me.' But on the flip side, it's good to know 'they can.'
Taking this whole control thing a step further, its quite possible that I attempt to manage or control my relationship with Jesus in the same manner. I'm working on the whole 'not my will, but Thine' thing.
I'm a work in progress.
